forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize