I got chris browned last night
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize