she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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