All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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