so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
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Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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