It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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