She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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