I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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