I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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