i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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