i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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