When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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