Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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