She's JV to your varsity
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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