the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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