I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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