Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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