I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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