I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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