Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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