I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize