last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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