I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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