look no pants
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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