just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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