so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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