I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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