Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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