the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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