Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize