Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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