It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize