My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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