I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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