Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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