Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize