He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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