He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize