Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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