this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
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He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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