I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize