Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize