What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize