This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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