Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
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Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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