is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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