the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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