I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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