I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize