Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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